Take My Heart ~Loves True Love~

Love is a miracle, love is beautiful.

ℜead love as a word of truth. As you sit there reading this, I want you to think about me. I want you to discover what I might have been thinking while writing this. 

I can’t write anymore, I’m sorry.

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Forget Me Not ~Broken Heart~

Worst thing, I know, a broken heart. What makes the inevitable even worse? Having just been discharged from outpatient, falling back into the old habits, and returning to your depression.

That old blade? Yeah, it’s your best friend again. You feel like you just died inside, a big ripping hole, you’re scared, you’re alone. You want out, just want to say goodbye to the world. It’s not like anyone will miss you, you’re an unloved freak that no one cares for, there is nothing that can make you feel better, nothing but the one who broke your heart. 

But it shouldn’t have to be that way. Obviously, relationships take huge tolls on fragile souls.

No one really honestly can say they know how MUCH a broken heart hurts. At least, not until they’ve felt it.

🙂 You are loved despite what you think, after a broken heart it’s not all over.

(I can’t think of a gaming story for that one…)

Forget Me Not ~Lies and Stereotypes~

Depression, to be or not to be. I don’t know why you’re “sick” when you’re depressed, there is no “sick” about it. It’s literally a chemical imbalance in the brain. I wish people would stop saying “Oh, I hope you feel better!” or “Oh you poor thing…” it makes me mad that people act like you’re sick. But in the same way, your brain is actually effected by the depression, the brain of a depressed person is not the same as what a happy person’s brain is.

I hear so many stereotypes. Go on Tumblr and search up depression, emo, and suicide. I guarantee you won’t see the word “sick” half as many times as it’s proposed by people who have no idea what it is about. Unlike the majority of society, I know what being depressed is like. Believe it or not, suicide is the tenth most common cause for death in the United States. I’ve been suicidal, I remember that deep, dark hole of terror.

I guess what I’m saying is, even if I personally don’t like being called sick due to depression, it is, in fact, true that I am sick.

In-game suicide: “Life Is Strange” ——- Kate Marsh is bullied severely causing her to become suicidal, Max Claufield may or may not be able to save her, and depending on what you choose, Kate with either die or survive. She stands on the roof of her dorm, about to jump, Max freezes time and- Kate might die.

Forget Me Not ~It Came Back~

You never understand why people cut, or why they commit suicide, the myth that people always leave notes isn’t true.. so why? Why do they do it? What comes back?

The psych hospitals are said to help.. but I just see them as hell holes. I never understood why I was there, I knew what I had done, I had cut myself, sure, but I didn’t belong there. The people there were insane, it wasn’t really helping, living in fear of getting beat up is not fun. The second time I was there, two weeks after I was there the first time, I was there for writing a suicide note. It was more to cope, yes, I did not plan to really kill myself, I felt better after gluing all the pieces onto the paper.

Maybe the reason someone is dying is because of the little things that you always thought didn’t matter, but they really do matter.

Forget Me Not ~Abused~

November, 17, 2014

Can you see the tag #ForEmo? If you can, I bet you’re wondering who Emo is. She isn’t an animal, she is my best friend. I don’t really want to give out her real name because I find it rude to use her name if she is unaware, so I shall call her Emo. Most people are probably wondering why I chose to call her “Emo” when that is a person who wears a lot of black and cuts themselves. Some would add that they also worship the devil, but I was once emo and I did NOT worship the devil. So that is a lie, sorry. I bet you want to know Emo’s story, which is sad and uses some bad language, which I apologize for ahead of time. I don’t swear a lot.

As a young girl, Emo was abused by her father. This was physical slapping here, not words. Then they moved away from the abuser, and for a while the problem was solved. Until about four months ago, where Emo’s stepdad (We’ll call him Paul) started calling her some rude things. The terms used included *Warning, bad language* skank, slut, whore, and other things like that. Paul was calling her that almost every time she entered a room. Emo informed me about this sometime during October, and I had worried, but done nothing. Emo told me that she had thoughts about harming herself, but she wasn’t doing it because she kept thinking of us, her friends, what we would think. Up until Saturday last week, she hadn’t harmed herself. But, Emo had a really rough day on Saturday. She didn’t call me, as she should have, she started to harm herself. The cuts weren’t deep, but it’s still scary to think about this.

Remember, hurting yourself hurts other people. Suicide doesn’t get rid of the problem, it just gives it to someone else. Comment if you want any more detail, I will try to respond best as I can. ^_^ Thank chu! iTzBella

Forget Me Not ~Dedicated To Marley~

Let me explain who Marley is, well first of all, he’s a ferret. He’s also really sick. Uhm, I’d say he’s not going to last too much longer. >_< He’s an albino ferret. He has insulinoma and is adrenal. Marley is laying in my lap right now, and he’s not moving much.

I know many people who read this are going “what’s this leading to?” Well, I’ve lost several pets in my lifetime, and my Great Grandmother is sickly too. This is me saying, it’s okay to let go. This isn’t really my normal “Anti-Bullying Forget Me Not” No, FMN’s aren’t just about that. Forget Me Not is my way of sharing hope. It’s okay.

If you lost a loved one, a pet, or a family member is in the hospital or is just plain ill, I bid you hope. This is our life, let’s make it great. If your family member is sick, make them a card. Spend time with them, happiness is the best cure for sickness.

I love you, Marley! ❤ iTzBella

Loosening Life: Chapter Five~ Life After Me

Must I be Kylie’s sister? It would be impossible. I sat next to Peter, who shook violently. Looking around, all I saw was the world going away. Decaying, abusing, hating, crying, everything it touches.

“A-Annie?” Peter murmured.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Are we gonna be okay? I mean, Mommy and Daddy left and now it’s just us. What do we do now? Are we gonna be okay, Annie?” He asked.

“I don’t know anymore. If I knew, I would tell you. I have to tell you something, little brother. Just about me, okay? You need to be quiet. It’s sort of a story.” He nodded, leading me to continue. “Well, I know this person. Her name is Kylie. I guess she’s my sister. Ya know, kid, it’s scary.” I wrapped my arms around him, comforting myself more than him. “Please, Peter, don’t follow me. I’ll be back. I promise.”

Could I really promise the kid I would be back? I didn’t know for sure. I handed him a chocolate bar and a jug of water. This kid was gonna go farther than me.

I ran to the building Kylie lived in, somehow I was gonna save Peter from fate. I rapped on the door, and shouted for someone to come outside.

“Hey you! I be busy! Go back home you freak hobo-” a boy shouted. “Uh, hi, Annie. My name’s Ismael. I’ll get Kylie for you. I’ll guess she’s who you want, right?” I nodded. “‘Kay then. I’ll get ‘er.”

She walked out, her hair draped over her shoulders,  “hey.”

The raper ran out with a dagger in his hand, shoved me to the ground, and held the dagger at my neck.

“NOOO!!!” Kylie screamed. Then everything was black.